whorecrux-harry:

"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills

(Source: ruinmarks, via orgasm)

hate:

im only 17 and ive already had like 3 mid-life crises

(via orgasm)

meladoodle:

ladies laaaaadies, theres plenty of me to go around *detaches arm* thats for you Brenda

(Source: meladoodle, via orgasm)

releasings:

my mum likes to play this game called yell from 4 rooms away and get upset when i can’t hear her

(Source: releasings, via orgasm)

michaelpalin:

a plus-side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and i will not judge you because i will also be in my pajamas

(Source: owenhartofficial, via purplequeefs)

posypayne:

so i got my teeth whitened today

image

(Source: calumpayne, via purplequeefs)